SPAT!!!!!!

Have any of you seen the Hugh Grant movie, "About a Boy"?  I love it! So funny. And my favorite part is the single parent's support group called SPAT..."Single Parents Alone Together, all for one and one for all!!!" Haha!

Good movie and a funny, catchy phrase I chant randomly from time to time.

So I just wanted to stop by and say hi to all of my friends. I've missed you!! And though I've been gone a spell, I haven't forgotten about you. I think of you all often and each of your plights...when of course I'm not dealing with my own....

It's still a journey, a tough one at that. I have so much to work through and process and I sometimes wonder if I'm ever going to figure it all out. So much in my head. So many emotions. So much confusion and hurt still to understand and sift through. And at the same time trying to enjoy every bright spot in my life, big or small, fleeting or continuous. 

Through all of it, what I strive for is not necessarily "happiness," but more or less resolution or contentment. Since nothing ever stays the same, and life is fluid, always changing, I believe anything can happen: good or bad. And with that I understand I must first love me, accept me, be there for me. When I can do that, I can do anything and still come out better than I was, more enriched and blessed.

The challenge I face now is not to let anger or bitterness canker my soul. It is so easy to go that way, especially when life is sooooooo very hard. Being an abandoned wife and single parent carries so many burdens: rearing children, making a living, providing food and shelter, teaching values, helping kids cope through their pain, dealing with my pain, being an positive example while feeling  defeated so often, protecting self and children from harm, just to name a few... and keeping head above the water while doing it all "alone." Hard is not even an adequate word to describe my life. 

BUT, I can honestly say that although my head swims in uncertainty, fear, pain, and exhaustion continually, I am DOING it! Although the task is often more than I can bear, I'm still doing it! I am still here, fighting! And yes, still kicking and screaming, at times. But, there are many more smiles and a few giggles here and there. 

I'm moving forward, little by little, inch by inch...

I'm still here!! Still writing occasionally...but I would also love for you to see what I've been up to meanwhile....

my new project. Please tell me what you think! Seriously, I want to know, and I hope you will all follow me on this next journey of mine.

XOXO!!!

Melissa