A Young Man's Dream...Part Two

Since the union was "doomed from the start," J felt he finally had another chance at love, to have that happiness that had alluded him for over 12 years. He was tired of living in misery with a wife that didn't appreciate him. He had been a good husband and deserved to be happy. M was exactly what he had been waiting for his whole life. She came at a high cost, adultery... but that didn't matter. She was "a good person." And everything would work out in the end...God wanted this for him. He knew that deep in his soul and he had suffered long enough.

A few excerpts from emails between J and M during affair:

M: I would never want you to think I was anything like ...(B) I miss you so much!

J: Where are you my princess? I keep checking my email and you have not responded. I think my marriage is done. I feel good about that. ...(B) is a wreck...I miss you.

J: (an email to M's husband) Is there a provision to be on the wrong path for a while, then get back onto the right path? I mean that is a strong possibility for me. I mean it's not what you want or (B) want. But it will work right? Because that is one of the options and I know she (M) and I will emerge from this at some point and be right with our Father in Heaven. I'm not saying this because of the pregnancy. I'm saying this because of how I feel about M. I'm still going to read the scriptures and pray always. I have hope and faith in our Father in Heaven.

M: I am lost without you.

J: (B) is still a complete wreck. She has taken me hostage and won't let me near my phone. Plus she is trying to read all my texts...so, twins? That sounds perfect!! I love you.

M: I don't care stand up to her!!! I need to talk now. I am home with just the two littlest babies. Find a way out.

2 years later...
After their ex-communications from their church, M and J started living together (while they were both still married.) During that time, they bore two sons together. Their on and off again relationship consisted of violent breakups where the police was called to intervene. M has called the police on J twice, J called once on M. B's children were present each time.

Words B's children have heard M and J scream at each other: "I hate you!" "B is so lucky to be done with you!!" "I hate you too!" "I hate **** (B's little boy). He's a little thief!" to J, "I'm going to call the cops and tell them you're neglecting the children!" "You're killing the baby!" "M is crazy. Everyone thinks so," what J tells his kids. "I'm done with her. She's crazy and a bad mom."

While M and J have been living together in paradise, they have accumulated over $100,000 in debt, mostly from M's spending habits alone. They live in a crowded 2 bedroom apartment, which is never clean, with M's 4 children from her previous marriage and M and J's two babies ...6 kids under the age of 11. B's two kids make 8 total. B's children report that there is trash everywhere, baby poop and throw-up stains all over the couches, and urine all over the floor in the bathroom. M and J just lay around the house and do nothing. J also tells his kids to do whatever M wants. Apparently she has violent tantrums when she doesn't get her way. M and J have no friends and few family members who can stand to be around them. They still go to church every Sunday, read their scriptures, and have family prayers...

J frequently asks his kids if B is dating anyone, if she's getting married anytime soon...

At the beginning, B hoped that J would miss her, want her back. She wanted him to see what he had thrown away, given up, and lost. Maybe, just maybe she would take him back, if he was truly remorseful and repentant....Now, it doesn't matter if he is or isn't sorry. B has moved on. She has a new life, new dreams, and a new love. There is no place for J. But, for her children's sake, she hopes he finds peace one day. And he will have to find a new dream, one that doesn't end in a complete nightmare.